That nagging feeling

What a weekend! I have lots of things to write about...an amazing church, thank you Jordan, a successful couch swap, thank you Danielle and yet, I can't let go of something that has been bugging me. You know that feeling - you're playing with the kids and that nagging voice comes in, reminding you about something you want to forget...and you think...ok, play with kids, go away voice! or just sitting reading a book - a good one at that- and that voice comes in again, reminding you about the thing you want to forget...aaaggghhh, frustrating to say the least.
Well, I have that nagging thing going on, and I have to say, thank you friends who call unsuspectingly just to say hi, and then here me go off for about 10 minutes! Thank you for not hanging up, or at least using your mute button so you can go about your day.

So here's my hang up...when do you stand up for someone else, the else who you love a lot, the else you think is amazing, the else who's character is brought into question by the same person every time we see that person...but, here's the catch, that certain someone else couldn't care less? Wow - it's hard to write about people without using names. I should probably use fake names...next time. Anyway-I am at such a loss because I'm so angry when I talk about it, that I know, even if I find the right time to talk to this person, I'll just get angry again. How do you check your feelings in a conversation that is full of feeling and emotion? Knowing myself, of course I'll end up saying something! I just can't go around not saying what I feel - and yes, friends, thank you again for all the feelings you've been privvy too!

I think I get angry because I want to stand up for something, yet I'm conflicted about it as I really don't like to rock the boat. So, ah, this is it...my anger is just a way for me to be pissed off and not do anything - so I get to go around talking about this person, rather than talking to that person and resolving the issue. And it is my issue - the certain someone else doesn't have an issue - that's fine...but I have to be true to myself. Oh, this is good! So my ugly ego raises it's head again and just wants me to be pissed off. Well, ego - no more...and for any of you out there holding onto something that really needs to be said, find a way to say it and let it out. Unless, of course, you need to talk to me...whatever I've done - I'm an idiot and didn't know any better, and I love you! Good luck...and, said person, we'll chat soon.