Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Who am I today?

My mornings are really hectic...as are most of ours, right? I work from home and although I have a pretty early start to my work day, I still have to get kids fed, lunches made, dressed, teeth brushed...and on and on. Add to that checking email, and getting some work done while kids are still home and it's no wonder I love coffee. What I realized today as I was taking my mid day shower (I tell my daughter, at least I'm taking one!) is that there are days when I don't look in the mirror until noon or so! That shocked me - not that I don't get a chance to look at myself earlier in the day - I'm not that vain, but that I actually don't have the time to, even if I wanted to. 

And here's the other part - often times overnight my facial features and body have changed. When I finally look in the mirror, one of three faces can be looking back at me. Face 1 is my wonderful 36 yr. old face - some lines, some tiredness, but overall pretty good - me likey. Face 2 - it's as if a little old lady crept into my bed overnight and switched faces. I mean, honestly - did I really have that many lines around my eyes yesterday, does my face look that worn out, and did my eyes disappear behind a cloak of extra skin? jeez. There's a little old lady out there feeling mighty fine. And Face 3 - the teenage years. I may look well rested, but honestly, do I still have to deal with zits...and how does it get that big overnight! The same goes for my body - there are days when I think, wow, I look pretty good...and other times when I long for the days of a faster metabolism and I wonder how a few slices of pizza and a couple of glasses of wine can really show up that fast! 

No matter, each day, when I finally look in the mirror I get to have a little surprise...now I just have to embrace the little old lady and the teenager more! I hope you're embracing your daily mirror time!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Scarred for life - I'll show ya!

For those of you who've read my post...you know I had some major back problems last year. What a year - now, with clarity  I see how much the back pain affected my life - I was anti-social, depressed and just in pain. Armando - hubbie - was so patient with me...I'm not sure I could have done the same for him! Luckily I had back surgery in September - and the cloud immediately lifted. I went in one morning and after 3 hours of major surgery, with general anesthetic, and a whopping 45 minutes for recovery, I walked (yes, I didn't even get a wheelchair) out of the hospital a new woman. Don't get me started on the crazy recovery. That's another story. All I remember is being so happy to be free of pain - there were times I thought I was just going to live with the pain for the rest of my life.

I was a happy girl, with my happy drugs, and my pain free body. I slept well and after my carry nothing over 5lb restriction (tell me Dr., do you know how much my daughter weighs, or a bag of groceries), I was able to go back to living my life. I guess I was a little too happy at the beginning as I seemed to have this unknown desire to show my scar to people - and random people too - hey principal Grey, wanna see? I'll blame it on the meds I was on - but I recall one instance when we were with my in-laws. I walked into my mother-in-laws house and everyone knew I'd just had surgery. I was beaming. And who do I think might want to see my scar - none other than my brother-in-law (married to Armando's sister). My sweet brother-in-law was suddenly accosted by a drug-popping mama as I lifted up the back of my shirt to show off the long scar on the small of my back! Poor guy - what can you say to that? wow - looks good, or, I can see the top of your underwear! I do have tendency to do and say before thinking things through.

Needless to say, said brother-in-law never asked about my back again - and rightly so! And...I haven't been showing my scar lately...but you know I probably will if you ask me! 

Monday, April 13, 2009

Overthinking life

I realized I stopped blogging for a number of reasons...all of which are due to my overthinking of everything, well most everything I do. For example, trying on jeans the other day...and I started overthinking the size of my ass - is it too big, is it the shape of the pockets, or is it the fact that the jeans are so tight I know if I bend down I'll have another rip incident.  I do have the ability to not think at all - like the hours I spent reading the twilight series and becoming mildly obsessed about robert pattinson for a day or to. Where am I going, you wonder?

Well - in the blogging instance - I overthought. The biggest one is the name of the site - I overthought it and don't like it. I was trying something catchy and because I don't like it, I actually stopped writing! Took me, what 8 months to remind myself that it doesn't matter. Oh, and I overthought - are people really reading this and what' the hell am I writing anyway. 

But, as I sit here, writing, I realize that I do like to write and if it can be funny sometimes, even better. I like to write for myself too - which is a huge realization - yeah for me! I also realized - thanks to my friend Danielle, that I can easily come up with a new name...so I'm writing again, and may think (not overthink) up a new name!

I've got some good stuff piled up over the last 8 months - so get ready.