Tuesday Timeout

I woke up this morning thinking about the whole meditation thing. And it seems like such a good idea - you know, sit somewhere quiet, reflect, do a little chanting if it helps - some quality time to just be...and then I thought - that's exactly what a timeout should be like! Wouldn't we, with kids, want them to sit quiet for those few minutes and reflect on what happened? Instead, what happens in my house, they scream, cry, bounce up and down, basically wanting to do anything but sit and reflect. Then I thought - that's what I do when I try and meditate...just turned down a few notches. My mind doesn't want to reflect or be quiet - it starts thinking, making lists, then my body gets an itch that I just really want to scratch. In essence I'm bouncing up and down and screaming! It's always been tough for me.

So this morning, I decided I would give myself a timeout. I know timeouts are a minute for every year, right...but I wasn't prepared/willing to sit that long! So I went with 6 minutes - the age of my son. 

I set the alarm (I know, really, for 6 minutes - but I wanted those 6 minutes to be uninterrupted blissful quietness). Then I started. Here's a glimpse of how it played out for the first 2-3 minutes...

"it's quiet in here, this is good, I need the quiet, wow, it's windy outside...stop thinking about the wind, think about nothing, ok, I can think about nothing, wait, now your thinking about thinking about nothing..."

Then for about 30 seconds I got it. I focused on my breathing and everything really did become peaceful. I felt calm and without any need to do anything. Then I heard this little voice in me say 'You are one'. Then it was gone and I was back into planning my day. But I felt it just for a moment. And that moment, my friends, is why every tuesday I'm going to meditate...I loved that feeling of just being. I know - 1 day a week - I have to start small or I'll get overwhelmed and stop. I will do it more than 6 minutes though - that really wasn't enough time. There is something to be said for just finding a quiet moment to sit with myself - I do feel a little more energized...and can go back to that brief moment when I realized I am one.